Daring Wes: Cade Brothers Series Page 9

  She was crying harder than he’d ever seen her cry before, large convulsions racking her body as she rocked into herself.

  Her head rolled against the seat, words flying from her lips in a drunken mumble-rant. “Can’t talk about it. I thought I could. That if I came here, it would wipe away the guilt and sickness of it all. But it’s still there.” She pressed her fist to her stomach, moaning.

  Holy fucking… Wes considered pulling over. This was crazy. Kaylee was talking crazy. Should he take her to the hospital? Because something was seriously wrong.

  But they were out in the middle of nowhere, and he was five minutes from her place.

  By the time he reached her house, Kaylee was already passed out, her body jerking every few seconds from leftover crying hiccups.

  Wes drew a heavy hand down his face and blinked at the front door. He stepped out of the car and strode across the driveway to the hide-a-key under a large fake rock her family hadn’t moved since he dated Kaylee. He opened the door and returned the key to its hidden spot, then made his way back to the Rover.

  Wes looked down at the small body huddled in the passenger side of his car. Kaylee’s arms were wrapped loosely around her knees, and her soft, dark hair fell over her face. His chest compressed, his gaze softening for a second. Fuck. Fuck. She couldn’t have meant what she’d said. This was drunk talk. This wasn’t real.

  He carefully opened the door and unlatched the seatbelt, easing her shoulders back. She mumbled, but didn’t wake. He slid an arm beneath her knees and his other behind her back, lifting her out of the seat and cradling her to his chest.

  He shut the car door with his foot and carried her into the house.

  Scanning the place, he considered taking her upstairs and laying her on the bed, but he changed his mind. He needed to talk to her, and not in a bedroom.

  Wes strode to the large sectional couch and laid her gently along the length. He found a throw blanket and draped it over her, then pulled off her heels and tucked the blanket around her feet.

  Kaylee barely moved, but her chest was rising and falling in a smooth rhythm, the crying hiccups gone.

  He sighed. He wasn’t leaving her alone, that much was for sure. Not with her passed out. People died from alcohol poisoning. He didn’t think she’d had enough to cause serious damage, but the words coming out of her mouth were insane, and anything was possible.

  Wes went into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water. He set it on an end table near her head, then kicked off his shoes and walked to the window that overlooked her parents’ yard. They had a nice place nestled in the woods, yet close to town.

  He rubbed his forehead and glanced at Kaylee’s still body. God, he hoped she’d been talking gibberish about that baby stuff. Because if she hadn’t, it would mean she’d lied to him all this time.

  And that their past and why she’d left him was bigger than he ever imagined.

  Chapter 15

  When she couldn’t take the pounding in her head any longer, Kaylee opened her eyes. It was light out and she was…on the couch?

  “Morning.”

  Her gaze snapped to the figure sitting near her feet. “Wes? What are you doing here?”

  And then the pieces of last night slowly came together. The guy she’d considered going home with, just to put the past behind her. To feel desired when all she’d felt was a whole lot of nothing.

  Wes had pulled her away from him. And then on the car ride home…

  “Oh God.” She sat up and wished she hadn’t. The room spun and her stomach clenched.

  “Water’s right behind you,” he said in that patient tone laced with anger.

  Kaylee reached for the glass and sipped, cautious of her queasy stomach. She glanced at him over the rim. Wes’s body was tense and he looked like he hadn’t slept. As though he’d been sitting up all night, watching her. “Why did you stay?”

  “You were drunk.”

  “Not that drunk.”

  His mouth crooked to the side. “You passed out, so yes, you were.”

  “Fine. I drank too much. It’s been years since college. I’m a little out of practice.”

  Despite what she’d said to Wes last night, she wouldn’t have gone home with the other man. Given the guy her number? Sure. She was single, and sitting around moping over her failed engagement wasn’t the way to move on. She wasn’t interested in anything serious, but dating someone nice didn’t sound so bad. Though it would take her a while before she could fully trust again.

  Wes sat forward, his large shoulders seemingly crowding her, when he was actually several feet away. “Do you remember what you said to me before you passed out?”

  She’d returned to Lake Tahoe for her wedding, but also so she could tell Wes about the baby. To shed the guilt and shame and sadness, and finally explain what had happened all those years ago. And then she saw Wes for the first time—and he was still so angry.

  She couldn’t do it. Not while he hated her. Maybe it had been a mistake to come at all. But Wes had taken her home last night when he didn’t need to. He’d shown up at her house, after she’d discovered Eddy’s infidelity, just to make sure she was okay. Tension might still exist between them, but he cared, even if he didn’t admit to it.

  She’d almost convinced herself that he was better off not knowing about the past. That she could hold it inside and not release the pain on him. And then, in a single drunken moment, she’d shared all. The past that would never leave her—that ate at her from the inside out and had forever changed her life.

  She’d blurted out the truth about the pregnancy, because deep down she’d selfishly needed him to know. Didn’t want to be alone with it.

  Kaylee rubbed her eyes and swung her legs over the side of the couch. “Can I brush my teeth and change before we get into this?”

  He gestured lazily for her to go ahead, but every muscle in his body appeared taut.

  Kaylee made her way up the stairs to her bedroom and brushed her teeth in the master bath, then changed, all the while trying to figure out how to tell Wes something she should have told him years ago. But it had been her body. She’d been the one irrevocably changed. So even if he’d had a right to know, she’d been too messed up and vulnerable to tell him.

  She reached for a pill bottle, downed headache medicine, and scrubbed her face with a warm washcloth. She looked at herself in the mirror. From the outside, she appeared much like the girl Wes had fallen in love with in college, minus the long hair—but nothing was the same on the inside.

  Kaylee made her way downstairs, and found Wes staring at the pine trees and mountains beyond from the tall dining room windows. It was her favorite place in the house too.

  Padding quietly on bare feet, she entered the kitchen and made coffee, slowly ritualizing the process. Putting off the inevitable. Telling him the details about the pregnancy wasn’t going to be easy, even after they’d spent time together.

  Kaylee carried over two mugs and held one out to Wes.

  He glanced up, blinking as though he’d been deep in thought, and accepted the coffee. “Thank you.”

  She sank onto the couch and wrapped her hands around the mug, soaking up as much strength as she could from the warmth. “About last night, and what I said. I’m sorry it came out like that. I’d had this perfect plan to share it with you when I first arrived. And then things unraveled. In the end, I thought it would be better to let the past stay where it was.”

  He shook his head forcefully. “That crazy talk was real? You had a…a baby? And you didn’t tell me?”

  Even after all these years, tears welled. “No. There’s no baby.”

  Wes ran his fingers through his hair, making the beautiful, dark locks flop over his forehead. “I’ve been up all night trying to figure out what the hell you could have meant. You need to explain it from the beginning.”

  She closed her eyes. “Before your tour qualifying tournament senior year, I was sick. Do you remember?” He stared at her blankly
. “No, of course you don’t. You were too busy at the time.” She set her mug on the coffee table and rubbed the tops of her thighs.

  He looked around as though mentally searching. “You were…tired. More than usual.”

  “I was. I thought it was midterm stress. School draining me. I slept a lot. I wasn’t interested in food… And then I started bleeding. You know I had an irregular cycle. I assumed it was just more of the same. But this bleeding came with intense pain.”

  His jaw tensed and he stared at her, waiting.

  “I went to the school health clinic and they told me I was having a miscarriage.” Wes dropped his head, and she took in a shaky breath, willing the quaver in her voice to stop. “I was three months pregnant.”

  “Fuck,” he said. After a long moment, he looked up. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Tell you? I didn’t know I was pregnant. And when was I supposed to mention the miscarriage? While I was bleeding out—the same day you told me you couldn’t focus on anything until after the tournament? Or when I had to have an emergency procedure to remove our baby that had died inside me?” She blinked back the tears. “No, Wes, I didn’t tell you. I was in shock, barely holding on to my sanity.”

  He slumped back and covered his face with the palm of his hand. “I’m sorry.”

  A tear leaked over her cheek and she pressed her lips together. “You were unavailable—out of state for intensive training. I went home to recover, but I was still in pain. I saw my local doctor and he said”—she covered her face, the tears falling harder now—“he said there was so much scar tissue from the emergency procedure that was done, that I’d never get pregnant again.”

  She didn’t see him move. Didn’t hear him. But the next thing she knew, Wes was gathering her up into his strong arms and pulling her onto his lap. He rubbed her back and she cried against his shoulder, his hand shaking as it stroked the top of her head. “I was selfish. Young and stupid. I didn’t know what I had,” he said. “Didn’t know what was important.”

  Not since she’d lost the baby, along with her fertility, had the weight she’d carried lifted. Until now, listening to Wes’s soft words. This was what she’d needed. His support. His comfort. God, she had loved this man. A part of her still did.

  She slid off his lap, her legs still covering his. He gripped her ankle, not letting her go. “I was angry at myself. At you. There’s more to life than having children, but at the time, I wanted to marry you and have your babies.” She sent him a self-mocking smile. “I felt like my life was over. I couldn’t have stood seeing the same disappointment on your face. I sank into a deep depression and had to leave.”

  “I get that,” he said softly. “And you had every right to take time for yourself. But why didn’t you tell me once you felt better? Why did you dump me and never come back?”

  She lifted her legs off his lap and eased them over the edge of the couch to the ground. “That’s the thing. I thought you would leave me. I was in self-preservation mode. You’d been distant, and this was huge. I couldn’t have stood you breaking up with me.” Tears ran down her face, and she swiped them away with the back of her hand. “I was broken. Even if you had stayed, you’d never have looked at me the same.”

  His expression tightened. “Kaylee, I fucking loved you. Nothing you could have told me would have changed that.”

  The sincerity in his voice stole her breath. “I didn’t know. I—I thought I loved you more. That I would tell you what had happened and you’d want a way out.”

  He stood abruptly, a slew of curses streaming from his mouth. “All this time.” He shook his head. “I guess we’ll never know what could have been.”

  He walked to the door.

  “Wes.” Kaylee scrambled to her feet, a horrible, sinking feeling settling in her stomach.

  He opened the door and looked back, gaze unfocused. “I’ll see you around.”

  The door closed and her legs gave out. She crumpled to the floor, silently crying.

  She’d feared years ago that he would leave her if he knew the truth, but from what he said, she’d been wrong.

  And if so, she’d lost more than she ever knew.

  Chapter 16

  It was dark out. Who knew how late? Wes was on his eighth bucket of balls at the driving range after a full day of tournament preparations and slipping in a round of shitty golf. He had his sponsor’s exemption, but damn if he didn’t want to prove he deserved to be out there.

  Wes could sort of see where the balls were going. At least the trajectory. Didn’t need to know exactly where they landed, as long as his form was perfect and the line and arc of the balls good. He’d been all over the map during this afternoon’s round of golf, and that wouldn’t do for the Tahoe Invitational. He couldn’t fuck it up. No matter how messed up he was after the bombshell Kaylee had dropped on him this morning.

  She’d had a miscarriage…and she hadn’t told him. Worse, it had hurt her permanently. Physically, but also emotionally.

  Sweat poured down his forehead, his lower back ached, and it felt like a spike was beating the shit out of his head. He gripped the club in his hand, his knuckles turning white. There was no way he could have predicted that avalanche of a secret. And he didn’t know what to do about it. She’d stolen his ability to do anything, truth be told. Because she’d decided he didn’t need to know about the baby. Not that he could blame her.

  He had been self-absorbed. And not much had changed. Golf still ruled his world.

  Wes positioned another ball and prepared to swing. Kaylee didn’t believe in him. Not enough to tell him she’d lost their child. That lack of confidence…

  “Wes.”

  His elbow dropped and he spun toward the voice.

  Bran lifted his leg over the chain that blocked off the driving range. “What are you doing out here? Your phone dead or something? Levi’s been trying to get a hold of you all afternoon.”

  Wes repositioned his club and swept it down and through the tips of the grass, sending the ball sailing into the dark universe. “I got his messages. Everything’s on schedule.”

  Bran let out a harsh sigh. “Dude, you can’t drop off the planet. Not now. Not when the club hinges on your part in this show.”

  The thing pounding inside Wes’s head turned into a sledgehammer, his chest so tight he thought it would crack. He growled, swung his club in a wide arc, and launched it into the dark and onto the range. He turned to Bran, whose brow was raised. “I can’t take this shit right now!” Wes clutched his head and paced back and forth. “Not. Now.”

  You’d think Bran would give him some space, but no, his brother pulled off his ball cap and scratched his head, his dirty blond hair curling up at the ends. “Is it the tournament that’s got you all riled up?”

  “No.” Wes’s chin fell to his chest and he pinched the bridge of his nose.

  “Then what?”

  Wes looked up at the sky, blanketed in stars. “Kaylee. She… I fucked up, Bran. I’m a dick.”

  He heard his brother sigh. “You’re not an intentional dick.” Wes shot him a glare, which Bran ignored. “Kaylee knows that, or she wouldn’t have been with you.”

  Wes swallowed. “I can’t fix this. And it’s my fault. She was pregnant. In college. I wasn’t there for her and she lost the baby.”

  A burning sensation filled Wes’s eyes, and he rubbed them. He wasn’t crying. Losing a chance at the tour could make him cry, but not this thing that had happened a long time ago. No, his eyes were irritated from the grass, that was all.

  His brother cursed. “Wes, I doubt you could have changed the outcome. It happens for no good reason to a lot of couples.” There was something in Bran’s tone…

  Wes looked over, catching a dark expression he’d never seen on his brother’s face before. “Did it happen to you?”

  A beat passed, then Bran nodded. “In high school. It wasn’t exactly the same thing, but I might have been a bigger dick than you back then, if you can imagine i
t.”

  Wes rocked back. How did he not know this? And coming from Bran? Never in his wildest dreams could Wes have predicted those words coming out of his nearly celibate brother. “Why did you never say anything?”

  Bran started to pace. “Because I was an utter asshole and didn’t handle it right? Because there was no one to talk to, except Levi, and he would have kicked my ass all over town if he’d known.” He stopped pacing and stared out at the night sky. “She had an abortion.”

  Wes turned away. “What is wrong with us? Why are we all screw-ups?”

  “We practically raised ourselves. That might have something to do with it. But Levi and Adam give me hope. Those two turned out okay.”

  Wes chuckled humorlessly. “Because they met Emily and Hayden, who kicked their asses until they got it together. Adam was no saint, and Levi was as self-involved as the rest of us, until he reconnected with Emily.”

  “True.” A small smile crept over Bran’s mouth, and then quickly disappeared. “Is Kaylee okay?”

  “No. I’m pretty sure she’s not. She said she was a mess after it happened. That she…” His voice caught. “That she can’t have kids because of it.”

  “Jesus. I’m sorry.”

  A shred of vulnerability sliced through Wes’s chest. “I don’t know what to do. Don’t know how to fix it.”

  “How can you fix what happened long ago? She didn’t tell you about the baby until now, right?”

  Wes sank onto the bench behind the range. “She said she didn’t know she was pregnant until it was too late. I was focused on myself and pushed her away.” He looked up. “She was three months pregnant, Bran, and I didn’t know. Hadn’t wanted to know, because my shit was more important. She was sick and I told myself she was fine. What kind of man does that? I loved her more than any woman, and I broke her heart.” He stared down at his hands—large even for a man, refined like his father’s. He’d not been there for Kaylee, just like his father hadn’t been there for him. “Maybe it was my fault she lost the baby.”